How Often To Journey in Older Age

Let Your Intuition Be Your Guide

Artwork by Lauren Meyer/Painter Dancer

I recently ran into Poppy – the 80-plus-year-old psychonaut I wrote about in a previous post. Poppy is famous in my mind as the self-declared Queen of Enoughness – a title that came to her during a psilocybin journey.

I asked Poppy if she’d had any interesting journeys lately. “Nah,” she replied. I’m done with all of that.”

The Queen of Enoughness had had enough.

I often think about how we set our boundaries with these sacred medicines. If they were an integral part of our culture, as they are in certain Indigenous communities, we’d know when it was time for a ceremony. But as is, most of us decide for ourselves when and how often to engage.

In older life, many factors may influence the rhythm of our journeying – from our physical and mental health, to issues of accessibility and disposable income, among others. But underlying all those considerations, ideally, is a recognition that these are forays into sacred space. May we bring maturity, humility and intention into our choices.

While interviewing older adults for my book, I heard many different approaches to the issue of timing. One man reserves his LSD experiences to once a year, as part of an annual life-reckoning. Several couples told me of their twice a year ritual of doing MDMA as a way to keep their relationship fresh. In general, journeying once a quarter seemed like a pretty common practice.

But somehow, I found Poppy’s “enough” to be particularly refreshing. As she told me, she’d already moved on to an exciting new project – studying ancestral healing. So many opportunities to explore the nature of existence – and so little time!

I’m reminded of the many esteemed Buddhist teachers who started their spiritual deep-dive with psychedelics before putting them aside to focus on meditation. For some people, just the visceral realization that there is something beyond the boundaries of self is the opening they need. As Alan Watts famously said, “If you get the message, hang up the phone.”

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I recently had a journey with Huachuma – the mescaline-containing San Pedro cactus of the Andes. That sojourn into sacred space was so powerful and so transporting, I knew I’d need to sit with it for a good while. I’d already signed up for another medicine ceremony some weeks later, but it was clear I had to cancel.

This line of work I’ve chosen presents me with many opportunities to explore expanded states. Between my natural curiosity and the imperative of “doing research,” the pull is very real. But I didn’t get to be sixty-seven without having learned to trust my intuition. When the time is right, I’ll know it.

I also know that I’ve yet to reach the place of enough. I come away from each encounter with these sacred medicines with a new and incremental insight in my quest to be fully present in this life.

Like meditators, as our minds wander, over and over again we return to the source, our breath. Over time, the insights from my journeys inevitably fade, so every so often, I’m drawn back to the flame of pure awe and love. Then, with my heart freshly opened, I can meet whatever comes with joy and compassion. Since I am deeply involved in caregiving, for my own wellbeing this renewal is essential.

Just like my aging body requires stretching and exertion to stay flexible and less achy, I intend to continue to learn, evolve and deepen, with or without medicine, until my last breath.